I'm a Gheeghee: a good girl. I am a hopeless romantic who acts as if it is bad karma to turn down an opportunity to possibly encounter with my yet-to-be discovered but has to be "out there somewhere in the universe" soul mate (notice, I did NOT say husband...a committed, exclusive life partner is fine with me).. But today I just had to laugh. I thought that this would have gone another way. I'm a professional woman during the day who has turned into a "type A" social butterfly in the evenings and on weekends. I over volunteer, over commit to social activities, sporting events, concerts, professional organizations, fundraisers (and believe it....I enjoy every minute of my social activities regardless of my "soul mate encounter" success) just "in case" my soul mate might be where I am too.
And like you, I have some very dear friends who care very much for me, as I do them, and wants me to have every happiness. So much in fact that one friend purchased a one-year high-end dating service for me (an expensive dating service). Reluctantly, and with some intrepidation, I called to make an appointment with my first dating service. Once I arrived at this small office in my dark business suit and favorite pair of black pumps, the "assessor" escorted me into her office. She began by describing several dating books that inspired the dating service owner to start her business. The first book is about why some women get married and others don't. For instance, women in the workplace have to put on a professional persona. She actually said: "Yet men get turned away by how 'hard' some women can be. They want a softer side to women. So women have to be different than the way they are in the office " In my mind I am thinking: this is 2009, not 1952. Does this mean that you are suggesting that women have to become Stepford-like wives to "snag" a husband? If you are wondering, this dating assessor session happened in a large metropolitan city in the Midwest of this great United States of America. But wait, it gets better.
Then she proceeds to say that most women "can't" read through the whole book because the author talks about how difficult it is for women over 40 to marry. Now mind you, this 41-year-old never married woman just got engaged the night before. At this point I am having difficulty making any direct connection to what this has to do with starting a dating services except perhaps the dating coaching services that they are trying to sell may come in handy for women who want to learn how to lose themselves so that they can land a man who wants to be the boss at home and not an equal who accepts his loved one for who she is. Folks, I am not making this stuff up.
She continues to talk about another book that discusses research that shows different behaviors between women who marry and those who don't. She said that the research shows that women who go out two or three times a week are more likely to marry than women who go out four times a week. But wait, the research also shows that if you have 15 friends who actively search for your soul mate on your behalf, you are more likely to marry than not. When she says this I am thinking to myself: so love is a flat out numbers game. Well then. I'm not washing my hair as frequently, I'm eating more chocolate and exercising less.
Then she gets all excited and says that this is why the owner created the dating service. She proceeds to explain to me that I will now be connected to other women in the dating service who are also seeking their soul mates. These women who also paid a hefty fee to belong to this dating service will have access to my profile online, any pictures of myself that I post. Better yet, once a month all the women in this dating service will meet for a social activity, and will invite their single male friends. Sometimes, the dating service will also notify some of their clients who pay a separate custom fee for "one-on-one" match-making services, of the event. She said sometimes two men show up to the event, other times 10. I'm thinking to myself: so these other fee paying soul-mate seeking women who know me mostly through a private quasi-facebook online forum will actively search on my behalf for my soul mate? And I will be competing directly with these women at these social activities for the attention of my potential soul mate? Really???
I didn't share with the assessor that I already have a few hundred women whom I have befriended in-person through my professional, civic and social organizations which I have actively participated in for years. I'm just saying.
I'm supposed to fill out the online form for my profile. More to come. I'm just saying.